


silence

by uhohcanteen



Category: Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Angst, Canon Compliant, Character Study, Child Soldiers, Hurt No Comfort, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, ITS 5 AM, Lowercase, Manipulation, Sad TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF), Somewhat, Suicide Idealization, get fucked that shits weird, goodnight musically, im not using their irl names for the tags, just. extra angst i guess?, maybe? - Freeform, reference to smp earth, tommyinnit angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-16
Updated: 2020-12-16
Packaged: 2021-03-11 02:28:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,020
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28107810
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/uhohcanteen/pseuds/uhohcanteen
Summary: tommy is exclusively hostile on the smp. seemingly, it’s all he knows.
Comments: 8
Kudos: 195





	silence

exile, as tommy was quickly discovering, was remarkably difficult.

aside from being an extroverted person, who liked people and being around them, there were other drawbacks. once you could ignore the pangs of tommy’s heart, late at night in his cot or sitting out in a chair meant for a friend that never arrived, ignore the stress of only seeing one man who robbed him every other day of anything that could pose a threat, ignore the way tommy pushed for more visitors that wouldnt arrive, you can realize the other drawbacks of the lack of people out in logstedshire.

for tommy not only thrived with other people, but also thrived under conflict with others. tommy was a teenager brought into war under the guise of freedom he never really got to taste properly, and he was in battle with his friends more often enough. tommy was raised in a world where he had to fight to survive, he fought dirty and painfully unpredictable, what he found worked in his time alone before his adoption.

of course, after being adopted into phil’s home, tommy didnt stop fighting; wilbur’s overdramatic tendencies and technoblade’s bloodlust even as a child made the house prone to squabbles that were brought outside to where their scuffed up wooden swords lay. tommy never really learned proper battle techniques - was never taught them, despite being raised around the angel of death and the blood god - but he would be damned if he wasnt able to jupe people in any situation, be it through words that led someone through a confusing maze of deluded statements and leading questions, or dirty tricks that led to a scam, brought on by nothing more than a desire for chaos. it was childish (for the most part) through and through, but nonetheless, tommy was accustomed to the constant fighting.

perhaps dream was aware of this habit, despite even tommy’s own obliviousness.

perhaps this was one of the reasons tommy was so far out, pushed into a constant state of poverty and squalor.

here, in his new residence, littered with hastily covered craters adorned with iron shrapnel on the inside, tommy had no one to engage with, positive or negative. ghostbur was nowhere to be found, had been gone for days on end without contacting tommy once. ranboo visited the most, but tommy thinks he would feel bad if he instigated with the guy- he wasnt sweet to a fault like badboyhalo, nor was he blissfully unaware in this world built up from violence, so maybe it was just how genuine he was. fundy visited, once, giving tommy an enchanted diamond axe, and tommy was too caught up in it’s glimmer and the swelling sensation in his chest to keep up a front and start some good natured chaos. maybe that was why he didn’t return.

starting problems with dream, however, was not fun, as tommy had discovered. it never had been enjoyable, and tommy was well aware of this. a few discs that he childishly taunted at dream in the beginning of the smp, and now years later, he was exiled because of his little joke. he thinks the joke ended when he died for the discs. he doesnt know if dream ever knew it was a joke. he doesnt know if dream cared whether or not it was a joke.

and so, with the preexisting knowledge on the fact that dream would go to unimaginable lengths to pursue getting the last word in, the final upper hand before the fight ended, tommy didnt try to start anything. his usually bright blue eyes were dulled down, gaze cloudy and far away, sockets sunken in and decorated with heavy dark eye bags, and cheeks gaunt, no longer rosy with glee that was accompanied with a mischievous grin, his mouth set in a firm line, lips worried between his teeth. he looked uncharacteristically sullen, eyebrows furrowed as he looked out at the sea that tormented him in the early mornings. he couldnt torment the sea, it wasnt sentient in any matter. maybe tommy could punch a cod or something. now, tommy was in a perpetually dirty and torn shirt, no matter how often he scrubbed it in the see until his palms and fingertips buzzed from the friction, and he was lifeless. he looked almost like a depressing statue, a remnant of a sorrowful civilization. tommy rarely spoke, anymore. his voice was scratchy from disuse when he pleaded with dream, telling him how sorry he was. it didnt help. maybe it would have helped if he hadnt tried to interfere at all. would it have changed anything?

tommy didnt scream on his plummet downwards, the stacked dirt ominously high, surrounded by puffy white clouds. as he last minute decided that he didnt have to die now. he landed in a natural spring on the island, muttering as he squeezed the wayer out of his shirt. 

tommy moved in silence as he took down captain puffys gracious christmas tree. he kept his verbal excitement to a minimum upon finding a chest filled with netherite armor and blocks that dream hadnt found in his anger fueled rampage. 

tommy had no more use for his voice in his den, he had found. he stewed in silence, and in technoblade and phils absence, he would go out into the snowy mountains, killing rabbits in a manner reminiscent of his days with business bay. he had a collection of rabbits feet strung up for memory’s sake- it looked like the work of a madman (or a cleric), but tommy missed his old partners. 

tommy was without his friends. he was without his family, without his enemies. 

tommy was without his voice. he was without his laughter, without his jokes, without his petty lies and dumb questions.

tommy was without his violence. he was without his battles, without his little punches, without his taunts, without everything he knew.

tommy was without himself. 

by the time tommy was discovered by technoblade in his basement, he was alone completely, a shell of a brother and of a friend and of a soldier.

**Author's Note:**

> i just really would like for the big man to learn that he is not right; him putting the blame of his own actions no matter how small can really make me >:[ i am a techno apologist first and foremost.. free my mans he aint do shit wrong


End file.
